Craziness xD

I'm not sure where to begin. My last post was in December, and now it's almost the end of January and so much has happened.

My friend moved away, and that sucks because I haven't been able to keep in touch with her really. Whenever we talk it's just an exchange of a few sentences and that's it. I don't blame her, I know she just moved to a new place and needs to get settled and all that. I just miss my friend is all.

My birthday passed. It was on the 20th of January, and now I'm twenty years old. My parents took me out to dinner and a movie with my boyfriend and we had some fun. We saw Book of Eli which was pretty good. I liked the concept of the movie, the only thing I disliked was the very ending. But overall it was a good movie and I would recommend it to any of you out there.

I don't feel any different now that I'm twenty. The only thing that really made me aware of it was that I had to celebrate it. Otherwise it would have been just another day. I don't get excited anymore when it comes to my birthday, I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I'm getting older?

In January I was in the hospital. I had to be taken in because my depression and anxiety was acting up again. That and I've been having nightmares, which is completely new and terrifying. Mostly because when I wake up I'm still in a state of shock and my anxiety skyrockets. I hate it. I did get out of the hospital in better shape than when I went in, so that's good. I saw my primary care physician and he's running some tests. And I've also been going back to therapy which gets me out of the house. And my doctor wants to talk to my therapist which I thought was a bit weird, but whatever. I'm also going to see a psychiatrist so I can get the medication that I need to take and fix my doses that I'm taking now. That's not until February 19th, though. Then there's the "social worker" that I need to talk to about services that they can provide. So there's a lot going on right now.

My cousin is coming to my house to sleep over on the first of February. I'm happy that I'm going to have someone to keep me company, because I've been feeling really lonely lately. We should have fun, so I'm looking forward to it. And she's staying a week so I'm happy about that as well.

AS FOR MY WRITING, I have been working on my story since I got back home. I've completed a few more chapters while also doing plot outlines and character profiles. So I have been making progress on that. I've also been reading a lot of books and playing The Sims 3, (which for some reason I'm addicted to- I just love all the customization.)

I will be posting here everyday now that I'm back into a good routine. Even if no one reads, then I'll do it for myself. After all, I need to keep myself happy too. :)

On another note, I'm really looking for some friends, (because my lack of socialization is ridiculous.) So if you'd like to talk, about anything at all, please send me an email! I always love to meet new people.

Hail and Farewell~

Hello, and good afternoon!

I just woke up and it's already 12:47 PM. Usually I'm up earlier than that but last night I didn't sleep well. I bought three books yesterday, one was about vampires, another about how to draw Manga, and the last one contains over 40,000 names from different origins and their meanings. I've been going through the name book because I thought it would be nice to have so that I can highlight names that I like and possibly use them for my novels. It also has some interesting lists in it, like the original names of famous people. I think it's a cool book. I haven't looked that much at the vampire book yet, but I plan to today. That one basically contains the history and folklore about vampires. And I already looked at the Manga one, and there's a lot of useful information there. When I get my glasses back and can see well I'm going to practice drawing again.

As for my writing, it's going to be a while before I can get writing on my story again, since I have to first get money to fix my laptop, then send it out to get fixed. So I'm thinking of focusing on one of my other stories for now, which I have in a notebook, and I'm going to try to add to it. I don't like not writing and I have a bunch of ideas that I want to use. So if I can't use my laptop I'll have to do it old school. All of my stories started off in notebooks anyway, so I'm going back to my old notebook for now. I actually have about three stories in notebooks that I can choose from, two of them I have in my laptop too but I never added anything to them so it wouldn't matter if I added more into the notebook. So I'm going to read them over, and choose which one I want to edit and continue right now. I think it will be a nice change to actually write with a pen/pencil for once since it's been such a long time. It's good to get away from the electronics that people rely so much on. This should be refreshing. :]

As for today, I think I might be reading a lot, from both the books I bought and my three stories. By the end of the day I will have the story that I'm going to be working on chosen. (By the way, this definitely feels like DeJaVu.) But I'm not going to let the lack of having a laptop keep me from writing when I want to write. And that's that. I think I'm going to restart the process of getting my eyes used to contacts again, meaning I'll wear them for two hours today, then three tomorrow, and so on. Eventually I'll be able to wear them for twelve hours, which is going to be awesome.

Well, I'm off to find those three notebooks. After I pick one I have to make character profiles and all that, so it should keep me busy. Maybe I'll go make something to eat too.

And just for the record, I really hate these old pair of glasses that I have to wear! Okay, ranting done. =P

Alright, off to do things now! Thanks for reading! <3

Hey everyone.

Today I'm not feeling that well. Yesterday I had an anxiety attack which wasn't cool. I'm also having some problems obtaining my anti-anxiety medication which is not good because I need those so I can stay calm. I've been trying to get in touch with my pharmacy but they said that the medication wasn't refilled yet. And I have to take another one in about two hours. But yeah, I'm not going to work myself up. Nothing bad is going to happen.

My room is so hot right now and I'm not sure why. I even have my window open and yesterday I had a fan on. Oh well, if nothing can be done then there's no use worrying about it. Today I have to go bring my glasses to Lenscrafters so they can be fixed, and I also have to call about my contacts. (Which should be funny.)

I did just get one thing done, I called up my pharmacy and my doctors office about the medication so hopefully now they won't screw up. But I'm sure now I'm going to have to wait like four hours. For some reason I'm just really tired today, and it seems I can't have my mom drop off my glasses because I need to be there. I'd rather wait until I feel better and put up with my old glasses for now. It's not that I'm lazy it's just that I'm already feeling anxious and going out isn't going to help. Yes, I'm a hermit when I get all anxious.

I guess today I'm just going to try and keep my mind busy, so I'll probably play a game or play with my dog Gizmo. I'm not up for writing right now, I might be later though. I'm just going to relax and take things slow. I'll probably make some calls that I have to make so I can at least get something done that needs to be done. I'm going to call about my contacts after I'm done with this post and then try to call about cash assistance. And on that note, I'm still waiting for the enrollment papers for the direct deposit that I'm supposed to get. If I don't get that then my insurance is going to be put on hold and someone like me who's always getting medical attention and needs to pay for medication can't afford to lose insurance.

It seems that both my friend and I are feeling down. I'm not sure why either. Lately I have been feeling depressed; I haven't been taking any medication for it because I need to see a doctor for that and that means I have to make an appointment. But I've been holding off on that because oi thought that I could just ignore it. I was doing a good job of that but the more days go by the more I notice how depressed I am. But yeah, I'm not looking for pity I'm just letting this stuff out.

For now, I'm going to take my leave and try to get some things done. I'll try to post later if I don't fall asleep early.

Thanks for reading, I'm sorry it was all depressing and such.

Good morning everyone! :]

I'm up early today, (7:31 AM) and ready to get some stuff done! First I have to finish cleaning, (I didn't do all of it yesterday), and then proceed to writing more for the next chapter. I remember mentioning a while back about trying to pick a title so I'm going to be brainstorming up some candidates today. And I also need to call that lady today, since she never called. It's going to be hard calling her since I don't know her name or extention but I guess that just makes things more interesting? (Don't worry, I'm just trying to convince myself that.)

Next thing is waiting to see if I got the application for the debit card thing in the mail. Because I need my money! (Just like everyone else- unless you're rich.) But for now I have to clean, clean, and clean some more. -_- I really dislike cleaning.

Tonight Timothy has bowling too, so that means he's not going to be home until late. :( But I guess I'll keep myself busy with all this stuff I have to do. And that's a lot of stuff. I also want to get at least two hours of gameplay in on Persona since I've been neglecting it. I'll do that way later, probably like 12 hours from now until Timothy gets home. I'm happy though because tonight is my chicken alfredo night, and that's always yummy, and when he gets here he said he's just going to spend time with me and not play any games, so good too! :) (Movie Night!!!)

*yawn* So tired. But I'm up so my day has already started. Time to go... clean.

And people I have a chatroom to the right that pops up in a small window, send me a shoutout or something! :)

Okay, off to get things done! Thanks for reading! (I <3 you ALL!)

Hello all!

I woke up tired today, even though I went to sleep relatively early yesterday. I didn't get to play MUA2 but I did get to watch Heroes with Timothy which was awesome. I love that show. (Sylar is the man! *fangirl*) And the story is getting interesting now. I can't wait for Sylar to get back to his old self so that he can cause havoc everywhere again.

On another note, I think I'm going to be writing today. I did finish another chapter which is good and now I'm starting on the next one. I'm going to have all day today so hopefully I'll get most of it done, then when I do get it done I can edit it and move on to another chapter. I hope I can keep up with my writing at this pace because if I do I'll have my story finished soon. =]

My pet betta Max is doing well, whenever I go up to the tank he'll swim up to me. And when I put my finger on the glass he'll follow it- he's really cute! And my puppy Gizmo saw him for the first time yesterday and he got scared like WTF is that thing. I put my puppy's face to the glass so he could see and ever since then he'll growl at Max from the floor because he knows that Max is up there. It's so funny. xD

I think my plans for today are:

1. Work on my chapter.
2. Wait for that call, or call that woman back.
3. Watch my fishy to make sure he doesn't get too near the heater.
4. Play with Gizmo and take him for a walk.
5. Maybe do some cleaning.
6. Play some Persona(?)
7. Write some more.
8. Sleep. ^-^

Hey ya'll!

I didn't get to write that much today, because I had to make that call about the money. And I got some good news! I am getting paid and they are going to send a debit card that I can use and withdraw all my money from. So that's awesome. Then I randomly got a call from the social security office and the woman I talked to was saying something about getting me an EBT card and cash assistance. She said she was going to call back but I think that the office is already closed by now so hopefully she will call back tomorrow. So that's some good news. And on that note, I'm also getting the water heater for my fishy Max so I can bring him into my room instead of keeping him upstairs. =]

I can't wait to watch Heroes at 9 PM tonight! Timothy said he would watch it with me so that makes me happy. I'm glad that we have little things like that which we do together. I think that since we're going to watch Heroes, we might play MUA2 and make a night out of it. I'm going to get some popcorn ready for Heroes and I have some brownies upstairs with milk that we can have. (By the way, I haven't forgotten about my diet, I've still been keeping to it.) Since I've been up all day and busy I think I'm going to be too tired to write, so I'll probably go to sleep around 12 AM. That's early for me. =P

As for other matters, I have a bit of advertising to do yet again. Please go vote on my red headed friend's poll, it will only take a minute. Literally. It's for her book title and you just need to pick the title that you think is the most appealing to you. That's it. So go vote! Here: The Red Head Thoughts

And now I don't have to advertise for myself, the link to my Email is to the right of this, along with a bunch of other new things that I added to my page. (I hope it looks better now. ^^; )

Well, I'm going to try and get some writing done before Timothy gets here, and this is my last post for the day. So I'll update tomorrow people!

And as always, Thanks for reading! <3

Well, good morning everyone! =]

I woke up today and went on my PS3 to just play games and not have to think much about anything. Ends up I get into a discussion with my friend about what life is and what happens after death. I wasn't really sure what to say. I think that life is just a series of events and experiences that end up in death. After death I'm not sure what happens. I'm not religious so I don't believe in a heaven or hell, I just think those are thoughts that are engraved into peoples minds to make them more at ease about dying. But yeah, I'm not trying to convince anyone of anything or force my beliefs onto anyone. And I don't mean to offend anyone.

Then there was the talk about ghosts. Whether they are real or not. Honestly, I'm not so sure. But there are so many accounts of people seeing them that it's hard to just say that everyone is hallucinating or "seeing things". I've never seen a ghost myself but there are so many people that have. So I guess I do believe but don't at the same time. I think I'd have to see it to believe it but I'm not exactly up for seeing a ghost. Then comes the next question, if there are such things as ghosts does that mean that something does happen after death? Not a question I feel like getting into.

Anyway. I don't think I'm going to be able to concentrate on writing today. Too much discussion about depressing things. Sooo yeah. I'm off to listening to some music and maybe reading a book. And hopefully spending some time with my boyfriend Timothy motherfucking Szyp. :)

Busy weekend!! Like always. And it's a long weekend so I'm pumped up since Timothy has Monday off. (His job sucks and he hardly gets any holidays off).

ALSO, if anyone has any theories or thoughts on what I talked about feel free to share. I'm an open minded person. Or, any story suggestions or ideas for my stories are welcome. Again, Thanks for listening and I'll try to post again later!