Craziness xD

I can't believe the last time I updated this was February 3, 2010. Time really does pass you by when you least expect it. So many things have happened, I'm not sure where to start.

I guess the first thing I'd like to mention is how badly I've been neglecting this website. I used to come on here often and update daily, but lately I've been either too busy, or just outright lazy. I'm hoping to change that and update here daily like I used to.

Lately there have been a lot of things on my mind, like finding a way to go to college, or finding a job. I really want to make some new friends, because my social life is lacking. It sucks being in a house all day with nothing to do. These last few days I've been calling people and putting things into motion. I really need to stop procrastinating and do what needs to be done. Then maybe I'll feel a little happier. Maybe.

Other than that, I've been having the same old problems. Family issues, money issues, social issues. I guess those are all things that would be issues for anyone, but my way of dealing with them is what makes it suck. I still have to deal with these anxiety attacks, which doesn't help, and my depression has been getting worse as well. It doesn't help that my therapist moved to Connecticut so now I have no one to vent to (that actually cares, or at least pretends to.) Not to mention everything else in my life that used to be planned has

Right now I'm just feeling a bit unwanted, and I can't stand this feeling. I really just need someone to talk to, or just someone who will keep my mind off stupid things. What I really want is a good friend, and I don't think that's asking for much...

It's funny how I'm writing about my problems and one of them stares me in the face. Out of nowhere, my family issues come into play, and now I'm a bit irritated.  These people came to visit, so now I have to hear this assholes loud voice until they decide to leave. I had no choice but to blast my music. And now Tim is going to come downstairs and I'm going to be irritated again...

I don't think I'm unreasonable. I just don't think he understands how much it upsets me to just hear them, let alone see them. If he could feel what I feel maybe he'd understand. But it's impossible to explain it to him, it just ends up being an argument with no solution. And then we both end up upset.

I'm not sure what to do now though, writing this down does seem to help.

Okay... Well, I'm going to get off of this and deal with these issues the best way I can.

Wish me luck.