Craziness xD

Well today I woke up pretty early. Around 6 A.M. and I didn't go back to sleep. I'm waiting for Timothy to wake up so that I can start getting ready. Which is right about now, since the alarm just rang and scared the hell out of me. I'm fine now though, but it definitely startled me.

Today I'm planning on going to my Aunt's house for Thanksgiving which should be at least interesting. I don't really feel comfortable whenever I visit my family because I'm not exactly a people person so I don't socialize with them. That and I know Timothy is most likely going to be uncomfortable since he doesn't know anyone there. So I'm just hoping that the visit goes well and that we'll be able to leave early. I just want to relax at home with Timothy and watch some movies or something. But my mother is pressuring us to make an appearance so I have to at least do thata for her.

I'm watching some TV now, since Timothy just pressed snooze and went back to sleep. I think I'm going to go soon though. And I hope everyone does have a happy day today with their families or loved ones. I'm not sure what I'm thankful for, but what is everyone else thankful for? Love, friends, family? There are a lot of things to be thankful for.

Well, I'm off now. Time to get ready for this long day. And thank you for reading, like always. :)

Well my morning is starting out well. I'm watching the sunrise from my new TV that I love because it's huge and I don't need to sit close up to it like other TV's. (I have bad eyesight.) It's pretty soothing to hear all the morning sounds and the birds chirping. I think I might go on this channel more in the morning.

So my plans for today consist of writing and more writing. Then reading one of two new books that I bought. I also need to figure out what I'm going to get my mother and father for Christmas. My father should be easy though, I'll just get him an alcoholic drink for his bar. My mother is more difficult because she never gives anyone a clue of what she wants so I always have doubts about what I give her. But it should all work out. I already got Timothy his present and he was happy. Very happy in fact so that makes me happy too.

I think I might also clean up my room a bit and do some dusting and all that. My room was messy when I got back and I almost had an OCD moment where I was about to clean up everything in sight. But I held off until today and I'm going to make sure this room is clean. I think I'll do laundry too. So I have a busy day ahead of me which is good because I like to keep myself busy.

I am also hoping to get some brownies from my red headed friend today, if not that's okay too. I don't like to bother people about things so if she does send me brownies that would be cool. I've been craving some brownies lately.

I made plans to go to my other friend's house on Friday since she's only here for a week and it's basically my only chance to visit her. I think we'll have fun. I just need to hear back from her today and see if her mother will allow me to visit. After that I'm hoping to go and visit my red headed friend if she's not busy and won'y mind me coming over. I miss my friends and I want to visit them.

Well, I think I've rambled enough so I'll stop here. As always, thank you for reading and I hope you come back. Maybe even follow me? *hint hint* ^^:

I'll update later! :)

Well, in case anyone was wondering where I was, I was at the hospital and had to stay as an inpatient which wasn't fun at all. On top of that, when I went to the hospital I had to wait seven days before I could even get a bed. It sucked royally but what could I do? So I was in the hallway of the hospital for seven days and then I went upstairs to a psych ward. (Trust me, I was glad to be out of that hallway.) I could walk around, and I met some interesting people there as well. As for the reason I was there I won't get into specifics but I will say that it was because of my anxiety and depression.

I have plans to go see a therapist on the 8th of December. And that should be good for me because I am in dire need of some help. So hopefuly it will go smoothly since I have the same therapist that I had before my insurance was cut off. I need to find the papers that I came home with so that I can write down a reminder of when I am going to see my primary care physician. (which should also be tons of fun.) So I guess those are my plans for the next few weeks.

On another note, I bought a 32" flatscreen TV for Tim and I bought myself this laptop that I am writing from right now. I love this laptop. The only thing that sucks is that somehow my stories won't show up on my flashdrive so I can't upload anything to this laptop. So that means I can't write. Well, I think I could actually. I'll write one of the stories that I just started and continue on that one until I can retrieve my stories from the other laptop. Then it will be back to my regular schedule.

So I guess I've said what I want to say. I hope you guys can come back and read my blog, I know I've been gone a long time. So thanks for reading!

I can't remember the name of the song that's in my title. Or the artist. This song has been stuck in my head all night. I just finished watching The Mighty Boosh on Adult Swim. It's a show that I haven't seen before and it was pretty weird but funny at the same time. That and the main character is cute. :)

I was getting angry earlier because the internet on my cell was deciding to be slow and not work with me. But now it's working so I'm happy. That's the only thing I'm happy about though. I don't remember when or how but I messed up my sleeping schedule and now I'm nocturnal. The good thing I guess is that I've been sleeping. The bad thing is that I keep sleeping all day, which is not good. I need to fix it. I think I fixed my sleeping pattern last time this happened by forcing myself to stay up when I got sleepy during the day and then falling asleep at night. But doing that is hard because it involves me staying up twenty-four hours and I'm already tired now. Eh, enough complaining.

For the last few days I've been thinking about going to the hospital. For two reasons. I've been feeling anxious and depressed and I'm not taking anything for it other than my Xanax which doesn't seem to help as much anymore. So I need my medication to be regulated again. Then there's the issue of me not having insurance and from what I was told I need to go to the hospital and ask for free care. I'm not sure what I'm going to do but if I don't blog for a while you'll know where I am and why. I won't think about it now, I don't want to cause myself unecessary stress.

I have to stay up another two hours so I can take my pill. Then I'm going to try and stay up but I don't think that is going to happen today, I'm so tired I could pass out.

I'm so tired. Well, I'm going to stop typing now and go do something to keep myself busy.

I'll try to post later if I can. Thanks for reading.

Alright, today was pretty boring. I finished cleaning and doing even more laundry. And I reorganized everything in my drawers like I said I would. It was really tiring. Then I made Timothy a pasta dish and got myself some soup. I still have to wash the pillows and put the new comforter in, then I have to vacuum and shampoo the carpet. That's going to be done tomorrow though.

My headache left for a while but I can feel it coming back. Tomorrow is going to be interesting. Usually Timothy comes straight home after work but tomorrow he's going to visit his mother and godmother and go jogging. He's started his diet and exercise so he can be ready for when he goes to the Air Force. After all he needs to at least meet the minimum requirements. I think I might go with him. I'm not going to run but I can time him.

Today was my friend's mother's birthday, and I didn't get a chance to text her and tell her to wish her mother a happy birthday from me. So I hope she reads this because she was in my thoughts today, I was just overwhelmed with all the chores I had to do. And it's late so I don't know if she's up so I don't want to send a text and wake her.

But yeah, today was a busy day and I said I was going to update my blog, so that's what I'm doing. I have to go now though, I still have laundry that I have to do.

See you later, and thanks for reading! :)

Well, I am doing better. My cousin helped me out a lot, although I'm not sure if she knows how much. I got to talk to her on the phone the other day, and it just cheered me up. We even made plans so now I have something to look forward to. I'm still sad, just not as much. I'm glad that I have at least one family member that I can talk to like that.

Right now I'm taking a small break. I'm doing laundry and cleaning my room. It's hard to keep this room clean though, since it's a small room and Timothy and I have to share it. There just isn't enough space for everything. Especially clothes. But I organize the best I can. That's all I can do. I just really hate having clothes out in the open. It's not like the clothes is on the floor or spread out all over the room but it still bothers me. I want to go through all my drawers and reorganize everything. That would take a whole day though. I think I will be doing that soon though.

Enough talk of cleaning though. I just thought I would update and let people know that I am going to be okay, and that I'm alive and haven't forgotten about my blog. And I will be getting back to my regular blogging schedule, so expect a post everyday. :)

Also, this is off topic but did anyone hear about the shooting at Fort Hood today? I think it's really sad, and I feel bad for the families of the people who passed away. The news was all very sad.

Well, I have to get back to cleaning. I'll post tomorrow.

Thanks for reading, and if you can, please click on the Ads to the right?

One change.

I'm not feeling as horrible as yesterday. Good, I guess. Maybe I won't end up in the hospital, maybe.

Oh, and Timothy and I had a long talk. He's going to join the Air Force. To secure our future. There are of course pro's and con's, but the pro's outweigh the bad. With the way that Timothy's job is now, he's not going to get anywhere. He has no benefits there. So I'm helping him find all the information he needs. Since he didn't gradute High School, he'll be taking classes so that he can get his diploma. In the meantime he can pay $65 and take the test to get his G.E.D., which he can also use to register for the Air Force, although the High School Diploma is better for him to have. So I want him to get the diploma, since it increases his chances of being recruited.

The thing I am going to hate is that we will be separated for a long time while he does the eight and a half weeks of basic training and then goes to technical school to train for his career. But this is something that Timothy has told me that he wanted to do for a long time, so I will support him. I think that joining will make him more mature, and we'll also be able to move out of my mother's house and be independent. He'll also get the sign on bonus of $10,000, which we can use to make our credit better among other things. I think that this is something that he needs to do, and we will both benefit from it in the long run.

We've talked about it and this is a decision that we have thought about and considered. So I am going to help him make this happen. I think it will take a year before he can sign up, because we have to prepare and get his education complete, not to mention getting him into shape so that he can meet the minimum requirements when he goes there.

That's all I am going to talk about for now. I still have some information that I need to find.

Both mentally and physically. I just want to snuggle under my covers and hibernate. Among other things that I will not post here. Most likely I'm going to end up in the hospital for the fifth time, so if I don't update, you know why.

See you.